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Heart to Heart with Hillary

 

December 1, 2018 - December 7, 2018

Apparently Hillary ate too many chocolates this week and is feeling under the weather, so until she recovers we will repeat some of her old classics. We hope you enjoy this trip down memory lane.

 My Dear champagne addicted petal;

You are evidently not in the ‘in crowd’ of beer drinkers. Lotus, Big C, etc., charge more for cold beer and why spend perfectly good beer money getting there? As far as my spelling goes, I didn’t use my spell checker like you (you are not that intelligent dear) but was actually referring to my loves (sic) TWO BUFFALOES but did not indicate that. Check your spell checker and you will see that the plural for buffalo is not BUFFALOS; which probably means something weird in Spanish. See you at the AA when WE get sober. You first.

Singha Jerry

 

Dear Singha Jerry,

You take me to task for something you “did not indicate”. So I am a mind reader now as well as being the ear for the lamented and demented. Where did I mention two animals? I didn’t. Where did you mention two animals? You didn’t. You wrote about a singular buffalo, which has no “e” on the end. And if you wish to be totally correct, then it should be “my love’s” and not “my loves”, my pedantic Petal (the apostrophe indicating possession). And before you rush back into the 7-11 to grab another cheap tinny thinking you have something to celebrate, the plural of buffalo is also “buffalo” (Concise Oxford). And since you are obviously a Cheap Charlie, I won’t be getting drunk on your champagne, will I Jerry?

 

Dear Hillary,

A friend who has been to Thailand who put me on to your website. I have been reading your column on dating and have enjoyed it very much. As I am going to be there in September for the first time I am writing. It seems that everyone I ask (single men like myself) talk about being at the bars as the way to meet the working women of Thailand. While I realize this is not the only way I do have a question. If one is not a big drinker will I offend if I do not drink a lot or wish to leave to go see music, movies or see the country.

James

 

Dear James,

I can assure you that the ladies from the bars have not the slightest interest in how much ‘you’ drink, only in how much ‘they’ drink, while you are paying of course! This is because they receive a percentage of the cost of the ‘lady drinks’, while they get nothing from the price of your drinks. This is how they make money, as they are ‘working’ women, getting their monthly salaries in many ways. It works like this, since you have not been here before, Petal. They generally receive a small wage (or retainer), and then their lady drinks percentage plus a percentage of the so-called ‘bar fine’ which is what the punters (like you) pay for the honor and glory of taking one of the blushing young ladies away from the bar to see music, movies or the country. Anything else is a private arrangement between the lady and the customer, as you have to realize that there is no prostitution in Thailand, because the government said so. And the statute books have said so since about 1966. While you are paying for things, you will not offend, James.

 

Dear Hillary,

I met a Thai girl last year, since then I have been coming to Thailand every 3-4 months, to see her. We have exchanged the phone numbers and the e-mails and we have been in contact with each other all the time. However, I cannot seem to be able to explain to her the meaning of “about” or “around”. You see, she is always eager to know when I will be arriving to Thailand next time and when I reply to her “in about three months”, she takes it literally to be 90 days, because when I call her the next time - for instance in two weeks - she starts asking for my arrival date and when I reply to her in about three months, she gets upset as in her mind I have changed the date and should be arriving in two and a half months and not three. Hillary, please help me in finding correct words to convey her what I mean when I say “about”. I even tried “approximate” but that confused her even more.

Ali

 

Dear Ali,

I take it from your letter that English isn’t your mother tongue either, so you already know some of the problems your girlfriend is having in trying to communicate in another language. You have also found the answer yourself when you say in your letter that it could be 1-2 weeks postponed - in other words, you are saying that it will be in “about” one to two weeks. When you want to say you will be coming back in “about three months” then what you have to say is “coming back in 3-4 months” and your Thai girlfriend will know that this means “about”. Remember too, that one reason why she will want to tie down the dates is that she has to organize and arrange her life too, please don’t forget that.

   


HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]

December 1, 2018 - December 7, 2018